Ask for What You Need & Want

By far, the most useful class I took in college was titled “Communication and the Sexes.” The main point of the class was to teach students to communicate more effectively with the opposite sex by understanding that each sex views the role of communication differently.  I had more of what Oprah calls “ah-ha moments” and learned more that helped my life in that class than I did in hours upon hours of other classes. Not bad for a class I took because it was the only one that fit in my schedule, huh?

One of my ah-ha moments came when the professor said that men tend to view communication as a tool to solve problems or to compete with others, whereas women tend to view communication as a way to connect. That helped me understand why, when I tried to talk to many men–and women with masculine communication styles–about something that was bothering me, they would instantly launch into multiple tactics on how to fix it rather than sympathizing like my friends and family members with more feminine, sympathetic styles. Armed with this information, the next time I needed to vent to my father, I began the conversation by saying, “Dad, I don’t need you to fix this. I just need you to listen so I can get my feelings out and fix it myself.”

What a huge difference that statement made! Knowing what I needed up front helped my father give me exactly what I needed, and at the end of the conversation, I felt like I’d gotten exactly what I asked for—and exactly what I needed—out of that conversation.

I’ll be honest, though: there was a part of me that had a difficult time telling my father what I needed. I certainly don’t expect people to read my mind, but asking for what I need isn’t always easy.



You can’t argue with results, though–when I asked for what I needed, I got it. And asking for what we need definitely increases our odds of getting it, no matter how tricky it can be to find the right words and tone to convey the request. You can and should ask for what you want and need out of life–from family members, friends, managers, coworkers, spouses and even from the universe, god, angels, etc.

Many years after college and that eye-opening conversation with my father, I decided to ask for what I wanted from the universe. It was 2012, and I’d been dabbling in doing psychic readings and Reiki for several years, mostly with friends and family members. That year, though, in the form of a New Year’s Resolution, I asked the universe to be able to stop dabbling and truly step into doing more psychic readings and energy work. I truly believe something Paulo Coelho wrote: “When you want something, all the universe conspires in helping you to achieve it.” But I also believe that you have to energetically set that in motion by stating it first.

Well, I had no idea how life-changing that request would be. Opportunities immediately opened for me to do readings and Reiki with people I’d never met before, and I enjoyed sharing my gifts with others more. About 8 months later, I got unexpectedly laid off from my corporate job, allowing me more time to step into those gifts. I asked for what I wanted and got it in many unexpected and amazing ways that, had I not asked, may have remained mysteries.

So I invite you to try it. Ask for what you need in life today. However foreign or uncomfy it may be initially to do so, it’s also incredibly empowering. Plus, it opens doors for solutions, improves relationships, increases happiness and makes life far more interesting.