While everyone is capable of empathy–if you stub your toe, then you can can empathize with someone who stubs theirs–not everyone is an empath, or highly sensitive person (HSP). People with these natures can empathize even when they haven’t experienced what you have. Read on to sort through the truth and the myths behind empaths. 

People choose to be highly sensitive. False. People are born highly sensitive. It’s usually inherited from a parent, and it’s the way they are wired. 

Highly sensitive people make up 20% of the population. True. One in five people are highly sensitive worldwide. So although they aren’t the majority of the population, they aren’t as rare as they often feel. 

Sensitive people are overly emotional and fragile. False. While HSPs can be sentimental, being sensitive as a nature is more about having a nervous system that’s dialed up and takes in sensory input at a deeper/stronger level than others. And sensitives can be some of the strongest people around. 

People can turn off/get over their sensitive natures. False. Highly sensitive people can’t control the way their systems react, although they can definitely manage it so it’s less overwhelming.

Highly sensitive people are great listeners. True. HSPs offer you their full attention, listening with empathy and compassion.

Sensitives are shy introverts. False. While empaths sometimes pause to assess the energy in new situations, they are not shy. And while they need regular alone time to decompress, many are extraverts. 

Highly sensitive people are healers. True. Because they naturally feel others’ emotions, HSPs are natural healers. Sometimes by profession (counselors, nurses, etc.) and sometimes by being the one everyone goes to for advice. 

If you’re an empath looking to better manage this unique nature, schedule a reading with me or sign up for the Solutions for Sensitives class series on Reiki Awakening Academy. 

Everyone has intuition, and intuitive messages come through our senses first. For example, we hear something, get a feeling, a thought pops into our heads, etc. But what do you do if you think you got an intuitive message, but you’re not really sure? Double check it! Here’s three ways.

1. Double check with a friend. Whether you have intuitive friends or those whose judgment you trust, checking your intuitive hits with a friend is a great way to get validation. There’s nothing that says you can’t make interpreting intuitive messages a group activity.

2. Double check with signs and synchronicities. If you think you got an intuitive message, ask the source of your intuition to send signs or synchronicities to confirm the message. The same source that gives you messages inside of your body can punctuate them by giving you signs and synchronicities outside of your body. Ask for them and then watch throughout your day. If things people say, or things you read or see come forth with similar messages, you’ll get confirmation on your original impression(s).

It’s not bad or weak to ask for signs. The universe is happy to provide them, so ask away.

3. Double check through divination tools. Divination tools are great sources of intuitive messages. Feel free to pull a tarot card, use a pendulum, draw a rune, or any favorite kind of divination tool to both confirm intuitive messages and give you more information or context for them.

Watch Jennafer’s video about this.

Want to learn more about trusting your intuition? Join Jennafer’s free class, 5 Tips to Trust Your Intuition. 

While both intuition and your inner voice come from inside of you, here are a couple of quick ways to discern which is which.

Intuition comes through your senses and is unconscious–you get a feeling. see/hear a reminder, just know you need to do something, etc. Your inner voice comes from inside your mind and is conscious–a thought pops into your head, you wonder about something, etc. Since both come from inside of you, they can be easy to mix up. So how do you tell the difference between your intuition and your inner voice? Here’s two ways:

1. Intuitive messages are short and to the point. When intuition comes through, it’s not a long dictation from a higher power. It’s usually short and to the point. You may get a quick feeling that you need to call your mom, hear a voice say “turn right at the stop sign”, or just know that you need to steer clear of that woman in the grocery store. Intuitive messages don’t need to be long. Sometimes they can be difficult to decipher, so keeping them short helps us understand them more quickly.

By contrast, however, your inner voice is not generally short and to the point. It ponders, wonders, and even meanders. So the length of the message you get can help you tell if it’s intuition vs your inner voice.

2. Intuitive messages are directive. When intuition communicates, it’s usually telling you what to do or what not to do, so it comes across as a direction or even an order. Often intuitive messages begin with a verb, so you’ll feel or hear or see “call your mom” or “change lanes” while you’re driving, or “don’t forget your jacket”, etc.

Your inner voice, however, isn’t usually directive. Inner thoughts can wonder about things, ask “what if. . .?” and “why?”, rather than direct you towards taking action. So the way the message comes through can help you know if it’s your intuition vs your inner voice.

So the next time you are confused if an impression is your intuition vs your inner voice, check to see the length of the message and whether or not its directive to be able to tell the difference.

Want to learn more about trusting your intuition? Join Jennafer’s free class, 5 Tips to Trust Your Intuition.

Sometimes psychic readings don’t have to predict the future as much as shed some light on the present. Life presents a lot of stressful situations that, when we’re in the middle of them, can seem as clear as mud. Psychic readings can give you clarity and perspective to see the forest for the trees, which then gives you confidence to make important decisions for you or your loved ones.

When Roseanne* contacted me for a reading, she was so stressed that clarity seemed like a far-off dream. Her husband’s deteriorating health was causing a lot of difficulty, as his mood swings and difficult temperament made it stressful to be his caregiver. She wanted advice on how to handle him better so they could both be happier, which was understandable.

While the advice that came through the reading did answer Roseanne’s question, it wasn’t in the way she expected. Rather than give her tips to handle her husband, I felt impressed to stress to Roseanne specific advice and tips to take care of herself more. As a result of the stress she was under, Roseanne’s physical and emotional health were suffering, and she needed to first take steps to care for herself. That way, her health and energy would be in tact, so she would be better able to handle the difficulties her husband’s condition presented.  With this advice from the reading, she had clarity on what to concentrate on, empowering her to tackle things moving forward instead of feeling stuck in stress.

If you need clarity about a situation you’re facing, a reading with me can help shed much-needed light.

*Names all changed to protect client anonymity.

We hear a lot about mindfulness, the practice of continuously living in the moment. That sounds like a terrific tip, but how do you do it? With meditations? Breath or sound triggers? Retreats in the desert?

If you’re like me, you probably already practice mind-full-ness of a different kind, the kind where your mind is full of to-do lists, ponderings, and more—so full that it’s hard to shut off sometimes, interfering with sleep or making it hard to concentrate. While this type of mind-full-ness is common, it’s the kind that has your mind everywhere BUT the present, so focused on things in the past or the future that it’s hard to pay attention to, let alone focus on, the present. Thankfully, the practice of mindfulness can be an antidote for mind-full-ness, helping us focus on and be very aware of the present.

So how do you practice mindfulness? Here’s two tips to try today:

1. Soak in the moment. Wherever you are right now, be there. Become an observer and notice the sights, sounds, textures, and smells. What about being there right now amuses you? Makes you happy? Calms you? Taking a mental inventory will help your mind focus on the here and now and take in your surroundings in an encompassing way, helping you be present.

2. Recognize thoughts, but realize they are just thoughts. While you’re busy trying tip #1, it’s inevitable that different thoughts will creep in, beginning to take you away from soaking up the moment. If you find that happening, moving you away from the present, recognize the thoughts running through your head. Tell yourself that they are just thoughts, and bring your focus back to your surroundings, easing your mind and staying in the present.

So there’s two tips to try to practice mindfulness in order to get rid of mind-full-ness. I hope you’ll find that, when you take time to practice mindfulness, it helps cut down on extraneous thoughts, allowing you to concentrate better when making important decisions and enjoying the moment more.

Do you have a happy place? You know, the kind of place that, whenever you go there, you feel peaceful or happy? Or both?

Whenever I need to clear my head, I take a scenic drive to one of my happy places, and I end up under a crab apple tree in the park of a small town. It’s incredibly quiet there, so I can enjoy the peacefulness of my surroundings. I write, wiggle my toes in the grass, watch hawks circling nearby, read, and  just enjoy being by myself. It recharges my batteries and helps me feel more grounded.

When was the last time you visited your happy place or did something that made you happy? In the busy pace of life, it’s sometimes difficult to carve out time to connect with ourselves, be it by going to a happy place or doing something that we truly love to do. In fact, it’s sometimes easier to make time to connect with others or even to connect to something bigger than ourselves than it is to connect with ourselves.

But part of our mental, emotional, and even spiritual well being is found in regularly and honestly connecting with ourselves. In doing this, we shed the roles we take on each day and are able to be our genuine, true selves for a bit. It grounds us and reminds us that we’re more than what we do each day and more than the roles we assume. For just a little while, it helps us be the people we want to be, rather than the people others expect or demand we be. And in truly connecting with ourselves, we recharge and refocus, helping us then have more to give to the people we love each day—including ourselves.

This week, I encourage you to make time to connect with yourself. Take an hour or an afternoon to make a little time just for you apart from the busy-ness of your life to be who you genuinely are. Your spirit will thank you for it.

Unlike many other people’s experiences, the first time I felt a distinct spiritual connection to something bigger than myself, I wasn’t in a quiet moment of meditation and contemplation. I wasn’t in a place or state of mind for worship, nor was I having a life-threatening emergency or a near-death experience. To be honest, I wasn’t even searching for a spiritual experience.

I was at a crowded beach, making sand castles. 

It was a pretty usual occurrence for me to go to the beach with my family, growing up in Southern California. During these day trips, I spent most of my time in the water, playing and swimming in the waves. But on this particular trip, I opted for time on the shore, positioning myself right where the tide offered me a challenge: to create a sand castle before the incoming tide could destroy them. I made a game of it for hours, and some time amidst the laughter and amusement, I became aware of more than just the game. I became aware of how connected everything was in the little world of my game: the damp sand I manipulated… the sand crabs that lived in one scoop of that sand… the water that sustained those crabs and came, unbidden and regularly, to give them life—then retreated to a larger body of water… all of it was so intertwined. I realized it all for the first time and within moments I went from observing that connection to feeling I was a part of it. It was amazing. I felt warm and happy, and not remotely alone, even in the midst of my solitary game. It was a very important moment that made me aware of a spiritual aspect of life I hadn’t known before.

Part of being spiritual or living a spiritual life is feeling connected to something bigger than yourself, whether it’s to nature, a cause, a purpose or a deity. When we feel that interconnectedness, it gives our lives context and perspective, and it helps us feel like we’re a part of something. It’s the same kind of feeling you can get from connecting with others—that soulful, enriching experience that helps us feel less alone, and often adds purpose and meaning on a spiritual level.

This week, I invite you to make time to connect to something bigger than yourself. Try going for a walk in nature, having a quiet moment of reflection or meditation, participating in an activity to raise money or awareness for a cause, or to a religious service. Experience those warm feelings of connectedness that come from you spiritually enriching your life.

By far, the most useful class I took in college was titled “Communication and the Sexes.” The main point of the class was to teach students to communicate more effectively with the opposite sex by understanding that each sex views the role of communication differently.  I had more of what Oprah calls “ah-ha moments” and learned more that helped my life in that class than I did in hours upon hours of other classes. Not bad for a class I took because it was the only one that fit in my schedule, huh?

One of my ah-ha moments came when the professor said that men tend to view communication as a tool to solve problems or to compete with others, whereas women tend to view communication as a way to connect. That helped me understand why, when I tried to talk to many men–and women with masculine communication styles–about something that was bothering me, they would instantly launch into multiple tactics on how to fix it rather than sympathizing like my friends and family members with more feminine, sympathetic styles. Armed with this information, the next time I needed to vent to my father, I began the conversation by saying, “Dad, I don’t need you to fix this. I just need you to listen so I can get my feelings out and fix it myself.”

What a huge difference that statement made! Knowing what I needed up front helped my father give me exactly what I needed, and at the end of the conversation, I felt like I’d gotten exactly what I asked for—and exactly what I needed—out of that conversation.

I’ll be honest, though: there was a part of me that had a difficult time telling my father what I needed. I certainly don’t expect people to read my mind, but asking for what I need isn’t always easy.

You can’t argue with results, though–when I asked for what I needed, I got it. And asking for what we need definitely increases our odds of getting it, no matter how tricky it can be to find the right words and tone to convey the request. You can and should ask for what you want and need out of life–from family members, friends, managers, coworkers, spouses and even from the universe, god, angels, etc.

Many years after college and that eye-opening conversation with my father, I decided to ask for what I wanted from the universe. It was 2012, and I’d been dabbling in doing psychic readings and Reiki for several years, mostly with friends and family members. That year, though, in the form of a New Year’s Resolution, I asked the universe to be able to stop dabbling and truly step into doing more psychic readings and energy work. I truly believe something Paulo Coelho wrote: “When you want something, all the universe conspires in helping you to achieve it.” But I also believe that you have to energetically set that in motion by stating it first.

Well, I had no idea how life-changing that request would be. Opportunities immediately opened for me to do readings and Reiki with people I’d never met before, and I enjoyed sharing my gifts with others more. About 8 months later, I got unexpectedly laid off from my corporate job, allowing me more time to step into those gifts. I asked for what I wanted and got it in many unexpected and amazing ways that, had I not asked, may have remained mysteries.

So I invite you to try it. Ask for what you need in life today. However foreign or uncomfy it may be initially to do so, it’s also incredibly empowering. Plus, it opens doors for solutions, improves relationships, increases happiness and makes life far more interesting.